©Alessia Ciara, 2015, all rights reserved.
A mixed review
Fiddling with my iPhone on one of many restless nights when I had nothing productive to do. I was just listening and posting sad song lyrics on Path, huh. Then, just for fun decided to install again the famous people dating finder app, called Tinder.
It has been a while since I left Tinder. Resulting not many great success chats and meetup (well a few fun short hook-ups *wink*). Then I decided just to try to meet with real people.
Apparently, it was not that easy to meet new acquaintances in the real world. People just so busy living on with their life, that they forgot to stop, breathe, and smell all the pollution. People from the different walk of life rarely bumped each other and struck conversations.
And then, when your friend tried to introduce you to someone, guess what? It never happened the way you expected, really suck. Live with it. So, back to the drawing board.
A few straightaways noticeable differences today in dating app like Tinder. We are now in the world full of selfies and beautify apps. You could all look like Vogue models in one-two step, say goodbye to expensive plastic surgeries.Tinder become a game changer.
It is an eye concentration test to see all the smooth faces and soft filters pictures. Many posted vacations photos and a race to see who could travel the furthest (try middle earth, anyone?) Additionally, don’t forget the non-looking-at-the-camera-busy-with-your-thing candid pose with tilted angles and artsy hipster style photos.
When the first impression is all you got, you need to put everything on the line with that one post. Someone nice interested to read all your bio. Other? Just seems not to care enough, swiping left and right like it is the end of the world. A sharp, yet primitive human instinct to mate.
Tinder update allows users to include jobs and educational background from Facebook. Alternatively, show more photos by linking your Instagram account. Which is a plus to see more about someone personality, interests and filtering skills (lol)? It is a bonus since some Instagram includes raw photos without any editing.
After a while, We basically could categorise the people on Tinder or from my point of view; ordinary women you commonly find on Tinder:
Social media is also a powerful tool to do marketing. Thus, you can sell almost everything but not limited to, yourself. Post few raunchy (depends on your perception) photos, and don’t forget to mention what you do (and your other ‘quality’ are) and put BBM pin, Line, or mobile number in your bio.
That way, hopefully, bringing forth pleasant and productive transactions outside Tinder. (Forgive my curious slippery finger swiping right all the time) It is their rights; there is nothing wrong with that. Besides, as we know, sexual transactions already exist since the beginning of time, and in my opinion, it is a matter of simple economic law of supply and demands.
In addition to those business-oriented people, today, there also people who straightaways write in Bold that they are not interested in any social relationship and only looking to network, kind of beat the purpose of the app in my opinion. Some of them even married or have spouses. They needed the app strictly for business relations, either you’re a budding eager young entrepreneur, or you’re just in marketing or sales. Tinder apparently is now an alternative.
We live in a busy and stressful world, indeed. Vacations or all sorts of travelling and getaways are essential now. Everyone wishes just to get out, be relaxed and unwind. (please excuse me, but I just have to insert www.setatour.com here, he!)
People never can seem to hate the beach and the sea. So, if you wanted to point out your adventurous side, it is THE number one rule on Tinder; post a vacation photo. And make it as beautiful as Picasso painted it himself.
Popular spots such as; beaches, urban streets and buildings abroad or popular theme parks are favourite places to take your photos. I don’t know the reason, but everyone seemed a certified scuba-diver now.
Perhaps a diving photo is perfect to showcase who you are, hoping to show that you are fun, accomplished, not-run-of-the-mill-normal-boring person. You (or just wanted other people to think) love everything outdoor and ready to jump on an adventure at any given moment.
Besides, it’s the perfect alibi to hide your face or maybe to show your incredibly slim figure, Ariel, the mermaid body. Ha! FYI: almost everyone will look thin if covered with amazingly tight scuba-suit spandex and have their picture taken below water, trust me on this.
So, along with vacation photos, usually complemented with writings in bio something along the line like this; “A full-time traveller” a.k.a the unemployed. “A part-time corporate slave, part-time adventurer” or in other words; please, please approve my leave, boss. “A world citizen” to show that they’re the most internationally aware global-warming, tree-huggers, eco-friendly adapt-person.
“A wannabe traveller” who is just not there yet, but perhaps in a couple of years. “A wanderer / A Dreamer” is just another way of saying, I’m bored to death. Or just written “Wanderlust” for the sake of a fancy vocabulary. Furthermore, why making things complicated by adding an acronym from “Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator” not everyone knows who the hell is Carl Jung. Except for snotty little psychology major. IDK. WTF. GTH.
Along with many other.
silent are the lucky ones
When you don’t know what to write about yourself in 500 words or less on your bio, just put a blank, that surely will attract all the psychics, gifted person who can see your personalities just by seeing your photos. Who are you? Are you interesting? Sometimes, perhaps you just don’t know what to write, or maybe you just lazy, or maybe you also confuse and don’t know who you are as a person, or simply just don’t know how Tinder works. Either way, it filled with unknown photos, mostly consist of a parade of selfies situated either in a car, room, a bed, even in front of restroom mirror. Don’t expect people to run out of places to do selfies anytime soon.
For some, they wrote as a simple person. Well, hate to break it to you, the world is a complicated place filled with random things. At least be smart enough to Google memorable, witty, philosophical quote(s) or wisdom, or alien language spoken in Vulcan. Whatev’s. If you want people to notice you, at least try to fill the void. Yes, a pun. intended.
However, there always an exception. A few chosen one, yes, you know who you are women or we as commoners called them “the lucky bastards”. Those women know what they are because they are born with it. They come with well-placed pointy faces, the model-like figures, and all the right angles and moves. They know that even without writing anything, all the hungry, horny, and desperate pack of guy-wolves will swipe right, and doing it with a smile on their face! Somehow hopes in a galaxy far, far away from here, those pretty little ones will like them back. Sadly enough, some of the gorgeous ones decided to become The Merchant. And nope, you can’t afford it.
I’m always a sucker for this kind of situation, call me shallow but with a perfectly framed body shots, long skinny legs, and striking pose, I unconsciously swiped right. What the hell, right? It’s not like they will swipe back. Which in reality, girls like that, and guys like me, huh? The odds are just not there. Unless somehow I accidentally put up a photo of Song Joong Ki innocently smiling yet manly enough. That kind of situation almost never going to happen. *still, right?”
And the irony is, most of the times, when I landed on a page with kind of pleasing personality, or at least I thought will connect with mine as they write the same hobbies, likes and beliefs. However, after seeing their photos, unknowingly I swipe left. Ha! I’m not fascist or sexist. Just want to point out that the brain works what the mind wants. You don’t want another you, again. Come on aim higher! That is what I called: The Tinder Trap.
saints and sailors
It is always good to mention beforehand that you’re religious, and mention what your beliefs are. Sometimes, although not necessarily needed in my opinion, but mostly happened anyways, is saying your race or where you’re from, hoping that you will get someone from your tribe, or at least what your parents wanted. It still rings true sadly in this time and age. That all the above still matters when you try to find your ideal life partner.
I don’t mind a group of women posting with certain attire that their religion requires, you know what I’m talking. I’m not against it, please don’t get me wrong. Just merely stating my opinion, so don’t get all crazy eyes yet. What I wanted to comment is that some of them, first posted a photo while using it, and in another picture, without it. It just screams inconsistency to me. Moreover, some of the religious but fashionable people, posted with full-blown make-ups that even make The Kardashians shy. Some, even awkwardly pose with a particularly challenging pose, if you get my euphemism.
In contrast, are the opposite of those believers. Women who comfortable with who they are as a female person. They know what are their strength and showing everything they could. However, not all of them are The Merchant, but they still know how to show their inner feminism. I don’t have any problem with all that, merely stating the obvious. You go, girl!
This kind is not just the people on Tinder who want to show their social status, plenty of that crops already. However, some people just waayyy to social; it’s a good thing to put up photos with friends and families, it shows that you’re sociable and loving people, not just some random psycho who hid bodies in the basement. But, this is not a game of “Where’s Wally” please just show you. One or two photos may be enough, but all them?
Too social” thing, is people who posted old photographs of visiting or busking in Europe many centuries ago, judging by the discolouration and the obvious smartphone retake. It usually showed how much you weight before, and how you can’t ever go back, ever. People need to see you up close, not just some random place background. (I’m looking at you, Eiffel tower)
Life not always working the way we wanted it to, it is what it is. We never know where the road may lead us. Happily married one moment, and the next just got separated for so many reasons. And sometimes, some have the loved one and raising them as a single parent. Nothing wrong in that, everyone needs to move on and continue with their lives, and in the world of Tinder, that means a BOGOF or a buy one get one free offer.
Some people comfortable just showing enough glimpse of it. For some, they make it clear beforehand; it’s a limited thing. If they feel the connection and someone accepting who they are, then please also allow their other half. I sincerely hope that all of them with stories like that will someday find someone and be happy, everybody deserves a second chance in happiness, aren’t the world will be a slightly better place to live in then?
There also few distinctive group of people on Tinder, who feels not sufficient, so they post whoever they feel represents them. The shy one who got locked in a closet, the open-minded people posting with their partner, the “Excuse me, you’re in the wrong section, Sir.” or the one who feels his body is a woman his entire life. The nerdy ones who feel comfortable messaging and stick to the cyber world. Or just prankster women who enjoy laughing at other people hopes and misery. In each and any of the cases, they are there, all human, with rights, all in it together with the rest of us.
The rest of US
In the modern world of dating, where we could meet up through any means possible, for whatever the reason; Either a hopelessly romantic just looking for the right one to come by or a clueless who still learning the do’s and don’ts. Or perhaps just wandering around for fun. It is hard navigating the world of online dating; it is a place where we sincerely hope we could meet our life partner with the same interests and likes.
Some of us choose to tinker ourselves with the best-looking profile possible, and a series of never-ending editing that could make us ended up looking like either a Barbie doll or even worse, a Voodoo doll. On top of that, we were adding it by trying to write “the perfect bio” which hopefully will represent us and who we are as a person in 500 words or less, which in any case probably could pass an entrance exam at Oxford University.
Key to the heart
Sure, some of that could plausibly increase our algorithm to whomever we want to matches. We can hide in one carefully crafted online profile that may or may not attract the right person. However, is it that way? If we genuinely wanted someone to accept us for who we are, then why hide all those beautiful, gifted traits by masquerade in it? If we only show people the goods and none the worse, will it happen the way we wanted it?
Putting in a little extra effort in your profile could go a long way. However, we could also try to be more authentic and as honest as possible. Be comfortable in our skin. Sure, it takes time and efforts. A couple of errors, few hit and misses. Nevertheless, I genuinely believe that if the universe wanted the US happy, then the right person someday will come along and swipe you right., right?
No matter what type of Tinder person we are.
H, today and every day
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