Everything changes, yes indeed, Heraclitus (NO, not Heracles the muscle adventurer demigod, and not what your dirty mind thinking ????) He was a Greek philosopher who famously said: “The only thing that constant is change itself.” He also said many other obvious things, such as; “Everything flows and nothing stays, and nothing abides, and nothing remains.” and so on.
What he meant to say is that nothing stays the same, everything always moves, whether it slowly or fast. It always shifts and changes. Even time also flows forward. The question is; how we as humans adapt to those changes? Are we prefer to stand still while everything & everyone around us always busy moving, or are we do what we always do best, to survive and struggling keep on going.
I feel that changes happened and years go by so fast. Changes are inevitable, whether I realise and want it or not. Some changes are worse and some better. And that experiences, the good & the bad, I still vehemently believe it shaped me into the person that I am today.
However, sometimes, not always, those changes feel like turning wheels, what goes around comes around. And suddenly I’m back at the same spot I was before. Like a foolish hamster chasing nothing in a cage watched amusingly by some kid.
Why do I ask? No reason at all, maybe Mother Time like to play a cruel and twisted joke on me, or on all of us. A big fat irony. I find myself stuck at the moment and couldn’t get out of it. (cue sunglass and sing like Bono) In a daze, feeling despair beyond repair.
Continually promising myself to move forward, the years were already going by and not kind. We can never go back even how much we wanted to. I’m stumbling around as I went along. Knowingly what happened is just the same as before, nothing new, just the same old song with different covers, playing on repeat.
Why? Does it still matter how? I don’t think I care about the why now. Nonetheless, one thing for sure, it already happening. And I must face the music and dance all over again. Stuck and suck, slowly sinking. There’s nothing I could do or did any differently about it.
I honestly always wanted to believe, if there is a divine and supreme being beyond ourselves, who still have control & overseeing everything or just anything out there who hears, please…, take notice on this one piece of a human being and help him just to move forward and change for the better. I’m ill, sick and tired already, and I still have responsibilities, duties (some are filial admittedly) personal goals and other zillion things I still want to do in this short, short life.
As I lay down now, and close my eyes to sleep, sincerely wishing, that things are different somehow when I wake up, a dream full of colours, rainbows, ponies and even fairies. And the change, those permanent modifications; like Heraclitus once said, will happen. Soon. I’ll be waiting.
-Hajar, typing intensely on mobile, in one might say an almost beautiful Friday morning of May, 11th 2016-
Side note: How the hell I add a song to insert here via the app? Well, I’ll edit later, please listen to Hear you me – by Jimmy Eat World, if you happen to stop by this blog and decide to read this post, that song is what I have in mind while writing this piece of faux-literature slash slightly foolish person rambling thought.
Side note edited: Finally got up and written on my iMac, damn you hidden OCD, always wanted to be perfect.
©Jimmy Eat World, 2001, all rights reserved.
Read also: Handle with care.